Don't force yourself into anything you aren't ready for, or you could make the problem worse. (*says this from experience* )

But at the same time, you don't have to be 100% convinced that you want to surrender your knives before you do it. Being mostly convinced has been enough in my experience at least.

Also, I echo dalila. It's a GREAT idea to come up with an alternative plan.

Best of luck to you! Keep posting and letting us all know how you're doing. We really do care, and really do want to know what happens with you, ok?

((((hugs))) <-- only if you want them

Angela