I feel that you hit the nail on the head. I have started looking for a therapist. He thinks we should be working on us. I told him I have to fix myself first. We had a conversation tonight that he literally cut me off everytime I started to say something and told me I was at fault. I finally got a chance to talk for about 2 minutes and after I stopped, he told me that he felt the exact feelings that I did, so i was no different than he is......... I have to work on me and that is all there is to it.