Sorry to hear about all your losses in life lostfeeling, I can't say I understand how it feels to loose people close to you, however I think I may going through the same kind of anxiety you have right now with my current position at a large company. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into when I accepted my current position, and it is way more stressful than my last job, and managers push and push and push you to try and do more with your career...anyways, definitely take advantage of the time off from work life to listen to yourself and do some exploring before taking your next job, if that's possible financially, if not, stay at home and work in a job that has the least amount of stress or something that you can tolerate, even if it's not much money....