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Originally Posted by lexxinski
Of course you can desire romantic relationships! A lot of people make mistakes by labeling themselves and then trying to fit into that label. Why would you do that? You are who you are and what you desire is what you desire. Even if all asexual people didn't like romantic relationships then be the first asexual person who likes it, then create a new category - asexual romantics. And this will be you. Fortunately, a lot of asexual people, including myself would like to have a romantic relationship! You just have to find another asexual person and not try dating a regular person and feel guilty that you can't give them what they are giving you. I still have physical urges like I need to release it otherwise after two weeks of abstinence I become very irritable. I dont feel like having sex, but I would still like to have a relationship. Just google asexuality dot org. Since Im new here Im not allowed to post links.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by secretgalaxy
Is there a possibility that you are graysexual? I went through the exact same thought process as you (though I'm still going back and worth between straight ad slightly bi). I later found out that I would love a relationship, cuddling, kissing, but getting more sexual than that is too much for me. My friend told be about graysexuality and I found that is where I am. I hate labels, but sometimes it feels good to be able to explain to people in labels, as that's how they understand.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lexxinski
Yes, there are many shades of gray in asexuality. The problem is not labeling per se, we need to have names for things otherwise other people wouldn't know what we are saying. The problem is that people identify themselves with a label and then try to behave according to it.
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Thank you everyone for your kind replies. I think the purpose of me seeking a label for myself, as secretgalaxy said, was more so for communication and the ability to convey an understanding with others as to my sexuality. I understand that a label shouldn't change my behavior and words should be used to describe me, not me to describe them, but I also see these things almost as a form of identification that may possibly help me understand myself as well. I can see the logic around seeking those with a similar sexuality for a greater understanding and acceptance for one another, but love tends to be a more random, irrational, illogical thing that doesn't necessarily conform to what is convenient. I have felt emotionally attracted to other people before (very few people), but as far as I was aware, they were not asexual as I was, and that thought was what pushed me away from them. I suppose there isn't a perfect solution to this problem, as there isn't one to most, but I think I've for the most part concluded that I would have to put up with it, whether that means staying alone, or if I'm lucky, finding someone that's willing to stay with me despite that. Anyways, I really appreciate what you said and I thank you both!