Hi Wishful
I am not where you are but I am where your husband is. My wife suffers from depression and my son suffers from depression and anxiety greatly. It takes its toll on them but also on other family members, it is consuming at times. I have come to realize that they need a partner in their fight. They need someone who can encourage and understand. I have seen it reduce people I love, people that are necessary in my life - as your life is to your family's.
I am learning about depression and helping where I can. I realize I cannot make them do the things they must do on their own, but I can do my best to clear a path for them so that they can. In a very real sense, I am trying to rid myself of this misery as well. It sounds like you are taking some positive steps. Hopefully your husband takes part in your therapy, it can be insightful and more knowledge is always helpful. If he's like me he'll make a boatload of mistakes along the way. I guess that's part of it too. I hope this helps in some way.

Paul