Quote:
Originally Posted by Trippin2.0
I was going through the same thing with my bf. He would hide, so well it was almost like I had an imaginary bf at times. 
With time, patience and communication, he has stopped retreating into his man cave all alone.
For him it was a combination of depressive isolation, fear I would end up walking away, and also not wanting to share his troubles.
Things changed very gradually...
At first I told him I need some type of warning he's going to withdraw or go incommunicado, for my own sanity. This he agreed would be the considerate thing to do, but he didn't want to talk about his feelings... I in turn promised not to pry, that he could share only if and when he felt comfortable, that all I needed to know was, "I need some alone time".
So that's how it started, a small yet significant change...
Guess from there he grew willing to make more changes.
Currently it looks like he may be headed for another episode, but he's reaching out, being communicative about what he's going through and is more receptive of me being supportive of him.
I guess for me it was easier to understand because I've had my own battles with depression, except I have people to answer to when I need to hide (like my daughter) and my bf doesn't.
I feel for your situation, and I hope your loved one feels better soon, but please don't forget to look after yourself while breaking your back trying to be there for them  |
This is great advice and glad that it has worked with your bf, trippin. Thing is, what I see is you did so much right here. You respected his need for privacy, alone time and you acknowledged his depression. You gave him room to be himself through it all and ultimately
this is how you build trust.
Now that you've shown how much you care for him by doing those things, he has learned to trust you and I think his opening up to you and being comfortable in times of depression will continue to grow in this way. good for you!
@OP, look to Trippin as an example. She may not want a relationship right now but the first key to that ever having a chance to happen is being a good, trustworthy friend that she knows will be there when the hard times are over while at the same time knowing this friend is respectful enough to give her the space she needs.
People dealing with depression or any MI, honestly almost always need and long for someone they can trust, that will try to understand and respect their challenges, even if they can't entirely empathize of feel what they do. Its far too easy to walk away from someone that might present a challenge, and I commend you on the desire to be different with her.
At the very least, if you do this, you will gain a life long friend and even if that's not what you think you want right now, it's not a bad thing at all
