I found out something I did 18 years ago, that I have no recollection of at all. And I really should. And its soooooooooooooooo bad, and so not me. And one of the things Ive been hanging on to, is that finding out stuff I did I don't remember is something that hasn't really happened before, and so I would use that in my head as an argument for not being DID. And so today I am mortified for so many different reasons, and I wish I could cry, cos I really want and need a big huge weepathon, but there just aint nothing there.