I think you need to make a choice, and I think you realize that you're not going to get the one you want, and it's too difficult to swallow. It's understandable, you still have your ex (who you don't want) obsessed with you. What you have to realize is both those situations, that you keep counting on to go away, may never. They won't if you keep allowing it to happen. Perhaps once you finally let the bf go, your husband will play off you and suddenly won't be as obsessed with because of it.

THEN, the future is wide open. You will be able to go out there and get something that YOU want out of this life. Do you know what that is yet? Perhaps it's an ex whose clean and sober? Have you ever mentioned the drinking to him?

I just think it's hard to think clearly right now. You have too much craziness surrounding you. Really try to find any way to take a step back from it all and truly evaluate the big picture.

All the best with a little love and luck to you...