Ive had it with all the fake friends and the long wait for a girlfriend/female friend. Thought I finally made real friends for this first time in a decade or so. I know they see me as a lame type of person the type that you dont want to be around with in public. They dont seem to understand. Everyone in the group has a girlfriend thats not the reason why I am searching for one, I been longing for a relationship way before I met these guys. When they talk about girls they dont seem to bring me in or when I try to join they seem to ignore me. It brings flashbacks of my high school days where my so called friends had me drive them to a party and when I stayed a bit they tried to ignore me and they had told me to go home and again there were three female and us three guys that went there together which two was dating my friends and why they didnt introduce me to that third chick.. or her showing no interest... is unknown.

Whys it so hard? One reason I already know is that In not good at communicating, english, anxious, plus Im dumber than just about everyone I know. Am I too ugly? Girls must see me as a creep as well. They have no ideal how big my heart is. Just when I thought things were getting better. All the caring, the giving, support I did for people I have helped changed lives, all for nothing yet I get **** and treated like ****. When it comes to girls.. I hate having to not know what to say or how to say it, hate freezing, mumbling, hate being boring, dont know what is even normal, im always anxious. How do I even know if they like me? I hate holding it in all the time. yeah if anyone around my area that understands hit me up otherwise