I think it is important to make sure you recognize and check the paranoia before incidents between your boyfriend escalate to points of heated arguments. I am sure he realizes that you have abandonment/trust issues, but if they begin to regularly cause problems for reasons seemingly out of his control, he will become frustrated.

Really, at the end of the day, if you think he is, has, or will cheat, there is no point of you being with him. You see, if a man isn't cheating, he is not going to understand the constant allegations and suspicion and may turn it around in many ways, including becoming suspicious of you. It's a visciously steep slope you're skating down, and it's important you truly understand that a lot of this is you and your past discretions.

Good luck. Having the bravery and intelligence to work on yourself is very attractive to the opposite sex. You will be suprised how your partner will react to that. I think people find that hard to believe, but it's the truth.