How do you feel when you are in a mixed episode?

I feel angry, irritable, and agitated all the time. I feel like I could crawl out of my own skin and run away if that was a possibility. I'm extremely hyper, yet have no energy to do anything. My thoughts race and I cannot stop talking. My brain is like a browser with 30 windows open at once. I start a ton of new projects and spend money foolishly. One day I will play online all day at work not being able to concentrate and the next I'll have a weeks worth of work done in a day. I don't feel like lamictal and abilify are making it any better.

Does this sound like a mixed episode to you? I just feel like crying but in the next instant I'm excitable and it goes up and down daily or weekly. (or sometimes within the same day). I feel worthless and hopeless about the future and most of the time not much excites me - even things that used to. I basically just want to be left alone all the time. On the other hand - I can't stop talking and interrupting people. Everyone says I talk so fast that they can barely understand me most of the time. I'm ALWAYS distracted, especially at work - if someone laughs or opens a can of soda - I lose focus and get really angry. I tend to crack my knuckles a lot and move around alot. I feel restless all the time. My sleeping patterns are terrible also.

Also, I'm ALWAYS paranoid over anything. Someone compliments me (they are really making fun of me), people breaking into my house etc. I normally have grandiose thoughts as well.

I'm just curious what you all experience as I'm meeting with my PDOC next week and I want to discuss this with her. Whats the difference between dysphoric mania and a mixed episode?

Even when I feel "stable" - I still have most of these symptoms.. what is normal anyway?

Thanks for reading! <3