Often, especially if my current AP needs adjusting. My long term memory is crap frankly so yeah I don't remember it very well either. I have like vague impressions but I don't recall it very well nor do I want to.

I understand, so well. I gained over 100 lbs on Seroquel, took me forever to lose it all and then I gained 80 pounds of it back in the past two years and now I'm trying to get that weight off now too. It sucks.

PTSD can cause insomnia and irritability, which can both be manic symptoms. My ADHD can mimic manic symptoms too(easily distracted, starting a bunch of projects and not finishing them, hyperactivity, etc).

I'm pretty sure it's schizoaffective disorder bipolar type at this point, as is my psychiatrist.

It is a type of schizophrenia, you're right about that. The issue of Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar type VS. Bipolar I with psychotic features has been a debate in the psychiatric community for a long time. They still don't exactly know how to differentiate between the two. That's a big reason why my diagnosis has changed as many times as it has. I always end up pegged with schizo-something in the end though, so whatever. Frankly I think that Schizoaffective BP type is a diagnosis that can be thrown around a bit too carelessly if you ask me. Technically to meet the criteria for Schizoaffective Disorder you have to meet the full criteria for Schizophrenia( at least two positive symptoms and the negative symptoms) outside of a mood episode to receive the diagnosis.

For me, my main issue has always been psychosis. No matter what the exact label, my psychosis is always the primary concern. Schizoaffective Disorder is a psychotic disorder at its core with mood symptoms as a secondary concern, as opposed to Bipolar with psychotic features where mood is the primary issue and psychosis is secondary.

SZA is a confusing diagnosis and it is difficult to diagnose, and it often takes people several years to get diagnosed correctly with it. That's certainly been true of me and several others I've seen who post here.

Well considering I am coherent right now as far as I know I would say they're working pretty well. I do still hear voices, but not as often and they aren't as loud with the meds.

A few people here have asked me this, and I'm never quite sure how to answer because it's very difficult to articulate. It's like everything in "reality" starts moving slow and before I know it everything is at a standstill, but my mind on the other hand is very active with psychotic thoughts, ie hearing voices and having delusions. It's like a time warp when I'm catatonic. For example the first major stupor I had lasted roughly two months and it's like... I was so completely gone that I may as well have not existed. Life moved on, I did not. I was not aware of anything happening in "reality" or the "outside world", I was entirely in my own mind. That's been the case with every episode of catatonia I've ever had. I hope this explanation makes sense, I'm a bit spaced out today, incidentally.

I have heard of catatonic depression, that sounds really brutal. I almost got to that point with the depressive episode I had last year, I just didn't have any inclination to move for any reason. That episode was spectacularly bad and I got very close to taking my own life, but I did not have the energy to actually do it.

I can relate to this confusion. I have several disorders and symptoms can overlap all over the place and it's so confusing that I've become apathetic. Label me as you will professionals, I no longer give two shits about it. Sighing.

Thank you, it's so normal for me that I don't really think about it much. It is what it is and all that...