You have been trying very hard shakesphere and doing a lot of self searching. I think you have actually gained some ground that way because you have been recognizing the unhealthy people in your life, how that has affected you and are making choices to have as little contact with them as possible.

I have experienced this "loss of time" myself and I am usually very busy working at understanding my deep inner challenges too. It is going to be a bit different for each person, however, a lot of it is connected to having one's boundaries invaded, not their fault either. Discovering these areas can take time, however, identifying them and taking steps to improving one's boundaries begins to help a lot.

Understanding our own stressors is important to finally making changes that reduce these stressors which inturn begins to free a person up to be more productive again.