Its HARD to talk about all that stuff.....but I can tell you from experience that it helps a ton. Guys usually have no idea. My bf was shocked when I told him about some of my insecurities. He had no clue! I said I knew they were irrational, but I had to get it out there. He actually thanked me for telling him so he had the opportunity to reassure me.

You said that if you must keep everything to yourself, you'd rather be alone. Well, there's your answer. If you talk to him and he's understanding, then great! Its all out in the open and he knows whats going on and has the opportunity to reassure you. If you tell him and he freaks out and gets made or whatever......well, would you want to be with someone like that?

Seems to me, that by sharing things with him, you'll at least get it out. You're doing what you can do and then the rest is unknown. That's what's so hard about it. The fear of the unknown. For me, fear stands for false expecations appearing real. Things rarely turn out the way I fear they will.

Maybe you can write everything out, so that you know what you want to cover, and then before you talk to him, go over it again. That's what I did.

It's a HUGE relief to get honest with ourselves and others. At least thats been the truth for me.