If we stick with this particular dream of being abandoned, there is no message here about you being a control freak, but the dream does seem to speak to a fear of utter, catastrophic abandonment.

I have something like that in my own life that I'm learning to deal with. My mother is an anxious and irritable person, and it seems that early in my life she went through periods of being emotionally unresponsive to me. That felt like abandonment. If this happened very early in life it could feel like total and complete abandonment with no hope for recovery.

But my mother was also loving sometimes. This thing that people do as a defense mechanism is separate the loving experience and the abandonment experience. There's a place in the psyche that knows nothing but love, and a place that knows nothing but abandonment. Because it knows nothing but abandonment, it can feel total.

Are you consciously aware of episodes of being abandoned? The nightmare might be speaking of infant states because it is so intense. I've experienced physical pain in nightmares too and I believe that's a part of early infancy... an infant doesn't separate physical and emotional pain... it's just this giant ball of intolerable pain.