for renucita,

You must be feeling so many different emotions...confusion..hurt...anger....betrayal...I cannot imagine. What I wanted to say is, you ask for understanding yet I do believe some things our human minds can never quite fully understand... I have read about people that have these ideas in their heads yet feel no remorse at least your little nine year old has remorse although that doesnt make it any easier..try many different doctors on this one? Please write us and let us know more of your thoughts....thinking of you, Junerain