Quote:
Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.
The thing is…I really should relate to people more than I do. I mean, I'm a musician and I spend a lot of time around other musicians…shouldn't I have enough in common? I guess not…I never worked on a cruise ship and that's a popular topic. I'm usually around musicians that specialize in jazz and so know everything there is to know and that's a genre I'm trying to branch into (so I don't know that much yet). I sort of feel like maybe I'm not a "real" musician since I don't seem to relate at all to most of them which makes my life difficult considering you usually only get gigs through your friends/acquaintances so if I don't belong anywhere, I might have to change careers.
What really annoys me is that often when these things happen, my boyfriend is also there. He is aware I have issues socializing and has expressed desire to make sure I don't feel left out. And yet, I seem to have an easier time not being ignored by other people if he's not there. I'm not sure how to mention this without upsetting him…at least the part about me feeling left out last night when everyone (all guys) in the group we were out with last night paired off with each other and I was left out. I have a feeling that I'm just considered just a significant other and not as my own unique person, if that makes sense.
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I understand and I do feel it has to do with your hesitance to interject or start a conversation. I don't think they'd have a hard time relating to your subject matter if it was music related, but that you never are able to start those subjects. it's hard, I know. I think you would fit in fine but you're in limbo because of your silence.
I am not giving this advice as if I am an expert at all but just happen to think what may be the issue, from experience. I've found in those rare occasions where I'm able to start a subject that people do engage me and are interested but lack of doing so, I end up in the background and being an introvert it's usually where I'm most comfortable so I let it go unless something I have to say is really pressing.
I don't have advice as to how to go about it but I think you gotta grab the bull by the horns and put yourself out there! I know I need to. maybe leave this thread and invite any introverts that have overcome this to share how they have done this or find a sort of "mentor" related to this issue?
If you want to be successful in any endeavor find one that has done so and study them, get to know them if that's possible and find out how they did it, I think this principle applies to things related to even life's tough challenges like this one
