My t says since I tend to follow my emotions and I need to learn a bit of a mindful business transaction approach to relationships. Not forever but until we really know each other. Use logic. Look for red flags and good signs. Don't just jump in. Certainly don't become intimate. I got much better now as now I need few months to realize it's not right rather than years and years.

Work in progress.

PlatinumHeart, first I am sorry you did go all in. We tend to do that when being in love or being infatuated. I can tell you I have done that mistake a few times and they were lying to me about their feelings ( as they had non, really they didnt because they were abusers only out to deceive and manipulate ).

I would advice you to get to know the person you meet very good first, let say some months. Even we wait a certain time getting to know someone we can never be sure are they real. But to go all in with someone to fast without knowing them and what they are all about only sets us up for heartache. And we feel very bad afterwards.

I dont go all in with someone I dont know well anymore and I dont let them get to use me. If a man respects us he will be patient and by waiting they will really show who they are and their true colors.

Many people say just move on, but its not that easy when getting their heart broken. Thats why I say its so important to not make the same mistake over again as I did several times.

I like this from the Bible.

"Above all, guard you heart, because everything you do flows from it."

The only way to protect our hearts is to guard it.

I hope your heart will be healed this pain.

My relationships since my divorce have been rather tumultuous. I find fault in myself for these failures, because I was needy. I felt like I needed to get my life back by being with someone rather than work on myself. I gave these guys my all, only to constantly be slapped with the reality that I was the one doing all the work to sustain the relationship. It was humiliating to constantly go through the revolving door of failed relationships, as I was repeating the same patterns. Go in head first, the rose-colored glasses coming off, and having to make a hard decision of not making the same mistake again!

When I finally broke up with the last guy, I decided to make myself better by being good to me. Doing what I want instead of pleasing someone. So I went to the gym. Got a trainer. Went back to college. Started hanging with my girls more often, hugging my family who will always love me no matter what, and seeing other friends. I made A's last semester, and am about to move to a bigger place (finally).

So basically for me, the last 8 months have been busy because I kept myself busy. I didn't forget him, but I am moving on. I am making myself do things. Get out of bed instead of sleeping all day. Get out of the house. It's hard, but I have finally realized in my 43 years on this planet that you can't please everyone or anyone. I've lived my life way too long for others, and it's my turn. I'm going to have fun with or without a SO. And I haven't been this happy in years.

That's my story... thanks for letting me tell it.