Quote:
Originally Posted by Willowtrees
Everything is unraveling and I feel like the help Im asking for does not exist. Been in the hospital inpatient because of alters twice in maybe 10 days for serious self and selves destructive plans. Im sure you can imagine how swimmingly that went. They literally didnt even spell my disorder right. Losing time, but more importantly, information, that i wasnt before, and its terrifying. Really dont know what to do anymore. Nothing seems to be helping. Ive stopped trying so hard to hide the DID because its impossible now. Alters i pushed back before are now all "notice me!!". Noticing how much the inner house affects real life. I had a butler in the house for months, but thought he was just imaginary. Is not. Crying all of the time, hearing voices threatening to make me black out, bad sleep, panic attacks. When is anything going to get better? Im getting all of the help I can.
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I'm wondering if the reason they didnt get your disorder right in the hospital is because the lossof informaiton with DID is a special kind. its not the kind where you one day cant remember things you used to be able to remember things. suddenly not remembering things is not due to mental disorders here in my location, here thats the physical form of amnesia where physical things like medications, traumatic brain injury, alzheimers, and other physical health problems.
the not remembering things with DID is one where its been part of your life all your life, things you have never remembered because those memories are part of the alters memories, most if not all with this problem rarely even realize they dont remember somethinguntil that memory comes back to them in the form of flashbacks or alter sharing that information through co consciousness.
my point is maybe your location is like mine and maybe thats why they didnt get your diagnosis correct.
you can ask your outpatent treatment providers for a psychaitric evaluation for dissociative disorders. this way you will recieve the correct diagnosis right down to the correct spelling because it will officially be part of your mental/medical records.
your question of when it will get better...it gets better over time as you learn about what caused your mind to create the alters, learning to take care of yourself and your life without dissociating, using therapy techniques like grounding and what ever other treatments your treatment providers have you on. for some people things start getting better right away because they are fast learners on things like grounding, self care, taking their meds as prescribed, participating in therapy....for others it takes many many years.
my suggestion continue working with your treatment providers and the treatment plan that was set up for you during inpatient, and out patient care and things will get better for you.