Hello Everyone,

Thank you in-advance for your reply. My concern is unfortunately common, but also unique to me. Been happily married for almost three years. Met my husband in College. Three months into our relationship, I met his parents and this is where my concerns stem.

A little about me: Grew up in a abusive home. Took my parents to court at 24 and have excommunicated myself from these unhealthy people. I might come off light-hearted, but this was the hardest thing I've ever done. My health and happiness are very important to me. I have one cousin, I keep in contact with and a have a few friends, but no one close. With that said, this is why I'm reaching out.

Right from the start it was uncomfortable with his parents. One of the first questions was about my parents, which is natural. I cut to the chase and said, they were bad people and I've made an active decision to keep them out of my life and from those around me. This unfortunately, has hurt my relationship with them over the years (for no good reason). I feel, they look at me as damaged goods and even after I've married their son, treat me less than worthy of their son's affections.

Most recently, my husband was diagnosed with Epilepsy after having a seizure at the wheel. His parent's have been cold and far from understanding when it comes to their son's needs. His parents are not particularly warm people and have childhood issues of their own. I'm the only one that has had counseling before and dealt with issues. I say this, because my mother in-law wants to go to family counseling. She say's it for Epilepsy. Meaning, we all need to communicate about our feelings. My intuition tells me, this is a chance to get everything on the table and talk about how I'M keeping the family apart.

So you understand and without boring you with years of hurtful remarks and misunderstanding, I will just sum up the core issues and actions.

Me and my mother and father in-law have never really got along. My mother in-law, specifically, talks behind my back to my husband. My husband has stood up for me and told them, I'm apart of the family! I'm a strong woman and as such, confronted my mother in-law. She apologized to me and then cried to my husband and said, unspeakable things about my past and me in-general. Holidays and events are always uncomfortable with the fake smiles and bland conversations. I chased their expectance for years and have stopped as of two years ago. This situation hurts and especially since I do not have parents of my own.

If we go to family counseling, how do I protect myself from being a target and how should I voice my concerns?