Great job on opening up! That's tough. I do fine (most days) opening up in a forum (can't see all the posts I deleted ), but to actually make friends or go volunteering? Um, no. So I say again great job!

I really relate to a lot of what you said here. So I really feel for you. That stuff hurts.

I hope since you've posted originally that you have found a way to counteract the desperate and overwhelming feelings.