I know.

If it wasn't for my seroquel I'm positive I wouldn't be sleeping at all right now. Even with it I've been waking up at four in the morning (going to bed at midnight). I'm having concentration issues too. Like I just tried watching a movie and couldn't concentrate on it. Not a good sign.

I don't know why no one is accepting new patients. It's appalling. It is ridiculous. I feel like no one wants to help me.

Last night I was so scared and my clonazepam wasn't helping, so I ended up drinking a glass of wine and drinking a beer (and I don't drink!), and then was about a step away from taking my entire bottle of lorazepam. I even had the glass of water ready. It was very bad. I have my husband holding my meds for me right now. I don't feel depressed really. It's just the paranoia and anxiety. I can't handle it.