I don't know how long this has been going on for you, but it's been a struggle of mine for years. When it gets to be unbearable, and feel endless, I know it's physiological. No degree of trying to work with it, or be with it, is useful. I've had to go the med route, which helps on one end, but is equally despairing on the other.

What has helped me is finding things that physically give me more energy (fresh air, laughing at cat videos, walking my dog). Even though it doesn't give my life meaning, it helps get air into my brain. Lately, I've found some peace in accepting that I just don't know what the point is, and that's okay. I don't know why this has helped me, but it has.

I guess I mostly just want to say that I understand.