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sister said: I said, "The challenge for me now, is to hold onto you without pushing you away."

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Ooo. That is so complicated isn't it? I do the same constantly. It's nice that your T keeps in touch so you know you haven't pushed him away. My pdoc keeps saying I can't push him away and he'll always be there, but I keep doubting it - so hard. My fantasy is that I'll come to his office and he just won't see me. (Makes his going away especially painful now.)

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SecretGarden said: you are a hoot

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You are indeed a joy. I love your sense of humor even in the midst of struggles.

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LittleMouse said: I don't have the nerve to call him even though he has told me it is OK to call

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I so get that Little Mouse. My pdoc says it's ok, but I can't make myself call. I mean, what if he's not there or doesn't answer or what if my call was too trivial. Hard, huh?