First off I want to let you know that your husbands behavior is not your fault. He seems very unstable and incosiderate to the point that you are somewhat fearful of him. I would urge you to call your local domestic violence shelter if you feel in danger.
If you do not feel as though counseling would help then I do not suggest it. All the counseling in the world will not help if both of you are not in it completely to save your marriage. If he is becomming abusive (and it sounds like he is) by throwing objects and becomming verbally abusive it is important for you to receive some help. I work at a domestic violence center and could get some info for you on services in your area if you would like.
The bottom line is your safety..and right now it does not sound like your house is a very safe place for you. Take care of yourself.

Jessica