Okay so I thought I was finally getting to a point where I could think about her . I made the mistake of asking one of her friends about her. She said she was on a trip and was getting pretty serious about the guy she was with. All my internal organs dropped to my feet - damn I thought I could handle this because I had stopped thinking about her continuously. Well, haven't slept in two days and it feels like I just saw her an hour ago. I wrote about this when I first joined this forum - the problem was I wasn't aggressive enough to take the relationship to a deeper level - so she left. You know I sort of hated her for a while but after I got my distance I realized my own insecurities was the problem. Anyway I'm pretty much in a tailspin again and really critical of myself. This obsession is getting beyond neurotic - I want to wish her well because I think she really offered me something I didn't know how to accept. All I know is I can't breathe again. It's really hard to get her off that mental pedestal - my stomach churns. Hope I have peace BEFORE I die.... Thanks