ok, this is gonna be long.
it is 3 years ago that i started my classes with a friend. who used to be in my college, as the fate had it we enrolled in the same course in uni, he became one of my best friends, like a friend i never had in my entire life, we hung out and practically were inseparable for almost 2 years, as we became more close we involved romantically and had a relationship for like 8 months and it ended because we both acted like teenagers and became really controlling and *****y, he was abused in his childhood and so did i, so all those insecurities and behaviors we had opted in our bringing up with those abuses come into play and we broke up, somehow we managed to stay in touch through mutual friends, but mostly we didn't meet or talk for a year with each other. then somehow with his initiative we started to talk and developed a nice friendship which was mostly about going out and playing at the local club, but somehow i still get jealous and really insecure when i dont get his attention, i dont wanna feel that way, he mostly hooks up with guys and has casual sex and i just cant stand that thought. i just dont want to give that kind of control to him, he usually becomes very charming to me for a week or so during our hangouts and then shut himself up wont even return my calls and then he will become all charming again, and somehow it feels so good to have his attention back that i forget the old things pretty much in a minute. One thing that I want to mention is he is really sarcastic and won’t ever admit his fault and and he is really selfish in a way that he wont help me on occasions where he has to make an effort, on occasions where its easy for him to help, he will do it, while on the other hand I will go out of my way to help him, just to make him happy or comfortable, not because I am nice person. But simply cuase I just cant stand the thought of him being in a trouble or making him happy makes me happy up til now although the relationship ended 1.5 years ago,
should I just leave it?
Or work on my insecurities while hang on to him?
Is it me or him?