Mick -

First of all, try not to be so mad at yourself. There is no reason to be angry with yourself, it will only prevent the healing that you need.

You were an innocent victim that someone took advantage of. Because of that you grew through life not being able to trust people. How many years have you lived with that and then how many years have you really worked on the issue?

Sometimes we think the problems should be solved overnight because they hurt so bad, but when the messages were drilled into us for years, it takes time to get over that.

If you can trust just one person, even a T, then that is a start. I firmly believe that those of us who have been abused have a sixth sense on who we can trust. Trust that gut feeling and take it slow. You don't have to trust anyone you don't want to, but if you dont' trust anyone it will hold you back and make for a lonely life.

Be gentle with yourself and keep working, it will get better.

Tranquility