Accepting it is a huge part of the battle.....I was pretty sure before I was diagnosed (because I had a TERRIBLE psychiatrist and it was as plain as day even to me although not to her; she could have diagnosed me many months before she just put down what my therapist suggested and I repeated and then she gave me the worst possible med for agitation which was the end of seeing her) and I think that while it was awful not knowing what was wrong with me and that it wasn't depression alone but not sure what it WAS it gave me time to accept it all and come to terms with it. I'd even made some decisions about "if I am diagnosed then I will not ____" and I think it was easier to go into with those things resolved.

You took a big step, now hopefully things will be better with your pdoc?