The other day when I was very down I posted a newbie post but it must be in cyberspace. It never made it to the forum.

Since that crappy day I have made a discovery and I think many of my issues center around abandonment issues. My mother was very unsure about how to handle a baby, Dr. Spock was her guidance, let the baby cry itself out. My father walked out on us when I was 13, and the list goes on and on. I learned to fear being abandoned and I feared it was because I didn't do something, like let my father rape me. Thankfully I screamed and adults came to my rescue.

anyway, 2 years of therapy never brought this issue to light. I happened to read about abandonment on this website and the flood gates opened. Now I have learn how to handle these memories and how to better my life.