I am very confused when I come out of am episode.... especially one that is drawn out.

A few years ago I went through a horrible 9 months where I was literally all over the place depressed to manic to mixed...... wash rinse and repeat over and over ...and I really never thought I would ever feel "ok" again.. Eventually I was spit out and I wrote myself letters, It was a reminder that no matter how bleak things seemed.... It cycles.

Every time I find myself in that dark unrelenting place I pull a letter out and read it as many times a day as I need to... Day by day , hour by hour minute by minute if need be, just to keep myself aware that..... Yes I have been in that dark hopeless place before, but .... I made my way back ...each and every time.

I have written myself many letters.. Its not a cure all.. But it helps me to keep going, helps me to self ground.

Bipolar cycles , That is the only constant