I often feel that's the only areas of my life I have control over is my home and my looks. Hence no matter emotional turmoil my place looks always staged and I always look good. In fact more I am struggling inside better things look on outside. That is the way i operate.

Nobody around me would not ever know what i am feeling inside or that something isn't perfect (unless I tell them directly or if they are very close to me). Even when I went to see my t after a break up totally hysterical I still looked put together on outside. It is a mask and my whole family is this way

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