Thread: Still at home
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Old May 30, 2015, 11:34 PM
annoyedgrunt84's Avatar
annoyedgrunt84 annoyedgrunt84 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 722
I'm still living at home. When I think about leaving I sometimes feel a sense of anxiety bordering on panic about leaving. I work at a small museum in my hometown which doesn't have the budget to pay me more than minimum wage so I don't have the money for my own place. I like my job and my boss is patient with me (probably to a fault). It's basically no stress. It also allows me to use knowledge and skills that I have, so I'm reluctant to find other employment. I have a degree and have been to graduate school (though I never finished another source of guilt and regret for me). But I feel like such a loser. I'm Also sentimental about my parents house, maybe because it's the one place I've always felt safe and comfortable, and the fact that my Dad built it with his own two hands, plus my Mom and my sister helped, plus when I got old enough in my teenage years I helped build on to it and remodel it. The last time I lived on my own was when I had my (major) meltdown, (Ended up in a psych ward for four days) and I just haven't felt the same since. I was desperately lonely, living alone, and wanted to come home but I pushed on for another year and a half living on my own. Mostly with the help and encouragement of a good therapist. I always said that if the paleontology thing didn't work out I wanted to move to New England and pursue my woodworking, (I've been fascinated with the New England states since I was a teenager). Now though when I go online and look for jobs in shops in New England I feel a sense of near panic about leaving. I've been Looking at a couple jobs teaching shop here but the thought of teaching high schoolers doesn't sit with me, mostly because I'm screwed up and they'd pick up on that in 2 seconds and tear me apart. I didn't get my Masters degree and I have already tried teaching at the college here and I screwed that up so that option is probably already off the table.
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