Firstly, Joy Division, I'm down with your musical preferences
Secondly, i think a lot of your confusion stems from society rather than you...does that make sense? I mean, you don't really need to know what you 'are', you don't need a category or classification. things are usually best if you just act like it's all as it should be. these emotions about men are really nothing unusual and maybe you'd feel better if you just let things be, maybe don't question yourself? idk, usually if i'm confused about that sort of stuff i just let myself be and i'm able to get some perspective.