Life right now would be so much more.....relaxing, less stressful, and enjoyable if i didn't have a million things going on. I recently dropped alot of weight, got extremely skinny, very disgustingly noticable. However, I felt those darting eyes on me all the time and felt uncomfortable with the remarks that were often made to me regarding my sudden drop in weight. So naturally I gained it back. just a little, not all. But now i feel so disgusting

I HAVE TO LOSE THE WEIGHT! I have a major hula competition coming up in 3 weeks, my brothers wedding, COLLEGE! everything! I am so tired of the world looking at me, judging my outward appearance and thinking that I live the fairytale life. I am far from that. I never wish anyone this type of pain and suffering but at the sametime i want people to know how hard and miserable this is. I can't take it anymore.

I want out of this. I want my time of all this pain to be over. I've paid my dues, I've suffered enough, I'm done.

I just want someone to take me as I am and accept what they see. I am your barbie, take me now.