I have not thought about having desire of letting go. It is ok as it is with the contact.

My only concern is that I think having contact with him will make me feel guilty for finding someone new and tell him. It all goes back to my issues about feeling bad for letting someone down. I know it will happen one day that I must let him down. A year ago or so he said he understand I want to find a new husband but he also said he didnt want to think of that day. It didnt get better after he asked us to remarry lately.

But with time things will need to be different because I dont intend to be alone the rest of my life. I have it good alone right now. I take one day at the time.