I'm new to this kind of stuff so I'll come straight to the point.
I'm 19 years old, live in India and my life sucks. I'm good at nothing. I am a very dull guy, but people think that otherwise, which is annoying. Right from when we was little till now, from 7th grade to be accurate, my mother didn't let me do anything but send me to get groceries, and my dad pressures me to hit the gym even if I wanted to play sports. I don't know whether this is the reason why I am weird and stuff, but its all I could think about, even during classes in college.
It bothers me so much that my whole childhood was murdered by my parents. So much that I slit my wrists about a year ago(I made sure they didn't find out), cause it had affected my grades and everything else. And now my parents always show affection towards my elder sister compared to me, and they always have from the start. For example, I would be told I would get something I asked for if I got good grades, but often end up not getting what I want and I don't ask for anything big. On the other hand, my elder sister gets what she wants without any of conditions, even with bad grades. Because of all this, I now have no confidence, or anything else for that matter. It just hurts so bad that I silently cry... Everyday almost, and once turned hysterical too. Not one day has passed in the last 9 months that I thought of ending it. I just can't live like this anymore. I need help...