Welcome to Psych Central (PC) 1234magnolia. I am sorry to hear you have been suffering from memories of your past and abuse. No one should have to live through that.

Some people at PC will find a therapist will help them sort out the roots of their life. For me, childhood episodes waned in influence to the degree I released them and let go of the anger, the hope for a change of heart by the abuser, and urge for retribution or revenge. Letting go of these does not mean what you endured was right, it only means you finally decide to go on with your life and not be weighed down by these things anymore.

Many people find compassionate, caring people here at PC. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

There are articles that go into more detail about coping
Psych Central - Search results for Surviving abuse

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.