</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
fayerody said:
independent women who speak up for themselves are called "*****es".

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wooo boy -- I remember telling a friend way back in the 1970s that she could either be a ***** or a doormat because that was the only two definitions society had for us.

She divorced him. Told me that chose in favor of *****.

After my first divorce, I was single for 12 years. I fully expect, having been abandoned in late middle life after a 15-year-run, to be alone until I die -- unless I get very, very lucky.

IMHO, most men are needy. I know I've said this elsewhere in relationships. I see widows here in S. FL who fall over themselves to entice the new widower -- make him food, darn his socks, do his errands.

Smart, strong women are intimidating to a lot of men.

I'm not that lonely.

If I had my druthers and enough money, I wouldn't bat an eyelash to buy myself a polite, good-looking "boy toy" by which I do not mean jailbait or even a guy in his 20s, but someone 10 or 20 years younger than I, which still puts him around 40-ish at the youngest.

Patty, it seems to me that you have a lot of self-knowledge, intelligence, and strength. If you made choices based on low-self-esteem in the past, isn't it possible that you've changed and grown and are different person now?