Thanks OE and CTF, that makes sense and I know it will take time, now. Until Dad's death and didn't know that past issues were still an issue and it totally shocked me to have those memories and feelings that came along with them to resurface. If dad's issue wasn't bad enough then all these surprise blows came in shortly after and continued to grow in numbers and strength. Even now seems like you can make some progress and then get pulled back under the water by something else.