I have to have one; required by my pdoc. But I also can't imagine functioning without mine. He's been my therapist for over 9 years now and can read me like a book (which is both good and bad depending on what I want him to know).

I had many bad experiences along the way to getting him. I had another one who was great when I was in college and then I tried a lot of awful ones in grad school followed by someone I saw for 4 years but she didn't really make me do therapy; we talked about our cats a LOT. When she moved suddenly to Luxembourg (really) I switched to this one and he's perfect for me; makes me work hard, supports me, and knows when not to push. I will not stop seeing him until he retires.

I have no idea how to find someone who is a good fit. I know at the point that the 2 that have worked for me have been Christian men, both born in 1957, both with very positive approaches to handling things that other therapists have tried to tell me I would never get over (PTSD stuff). I'm not sure what happens when everyone born in 1957 retires (pretty sure that's when my pdoc was born too although she's a Jewish woman so doesn't meet the rest of my stereotype and really she's absolutely perfect for me as well).

I know it can be very hard. I think I went through 5 therapists in a few months in grad school because they all were awful.