<<I also forgot to add that when you first find out you have PTSD or complex PTSD, it is normal to read and research all you can about it. That is a good thing. But if you start consuming yourself with it (and I don't think you are but many do ) to where you are intellectualizing it so much, that doing that action is actually a form of numbing your pain which is also a part of PTSD. I am a researcher on everything, whether it is my PTSD or not. But I had to learn to feel again, and I am still working on that. >>
Yep, did this and it about drove me crazy, or crazier. My T at the time told me to stop, without explanation as to why, which drove my anxiety out the roof. I just wanted some answers, this was all so new to me and I had so many questions that I couldn't find answers for. I am an "investigator" by nature, never got out of my terrible two's of why? why? why? I'm sure that drove mom nuts.

<< Talk therapy will probably not ever be enough. >>
Maybe this is why my counselor pretty much gave up on me and said I wasn't ready for therapy. I felt like she didn't know what to do with me and she and my PCP talked, with my permission. My PCP said she felt the same way from the communication she had with the T. Why is they expect us to be honest with them but they can not so the same with us? I was paying $150 a session out of my pocket and getting nothing, and I think she knew that.
<<But you have to have a good T and have a lot of patience, bravely and be ready and stable enough to work through these things. It sucks, but it beats the alternative. >>
When you feel so horrible it's hard to find the strength, the bravery and I thought I was ready before, to go one with another T. It's not as hard to understand why people take the alternative so often. It's the easy way out.