I don't understand how is this even possible, that overnight one would go from being so hyper-energetic to a walking dead person ?
Yesterday, evening, I went to an opening ceremony of Sacred Singing Circle which took place in several countries worldwide as well as Israel, this is something I also wanted to attend. Went there with a friend and met few people I know there which is awesome to meet people u know in those circumstances, look in a good-energy n stuff.
The event was beautiful, angelic, but through the evening I started feeling different.
I just couldn't feel. I would sing and dance, then I'd just sit and close my eyes, but something just .. did not feel. I could not understand what it is.
I can tell how different I felt through the day, in the morning I felt AWESOME, restless a bit though but I was 'THERE'. very active, talkative, energizing others, alive.
Then after uni, drove home and just wanted the time to pass by and go to the ceremony.
I did stuff home, then after couple hours picked the friend and drove there, I was thrilled at the beginning, we were there and I was jumping around blissfully brought my guitar as well and accompanied the music... and out of the blue something has began to slow down, like the engine's RPM drops slowly..
It was an hour away from home (driving) and I felt bit reluctant to drive (WHICH IS RARE), just wanted to get home and get to my bed, something was sad.
Today, I woke up sad with one desire; keep sleeping.
In the first class I would read a book and sit isolated from everyone,
The second class which is a Group Intervention Techniques where we sit in circle and participate in a Group-Like-Experience, I usually participate and I found myself participating but very quickly all I wanted is the group to be over, I felt worthless.
I felt like everything I've said is being assessed and misunderstood, I felt like I was just talking non-sense to them and I would want to bury myself.
Then later in the break I saw 2 friends with whom I was last evening in the ceremony, they were sitting not far from me and they wouldn't look at me, I would instantly feel like "yay.. I'm not important"; friend was talking to me and would say "ARE U LISTENING????" and I'm like "yeah..I'm just.. away..sorry"
then I went to my therapist came home and went to sleep. woke up to walk my dog, outside I was thinking "I could go for a run maybe feel better..." but then it would feel unrealistic task, like impossible to do.
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Bipolar II ENFP -
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