Hi UCLAFan,

Bulling is one of my button pushers. For whatever it’s worth, I’ve heard bullies explain their behavior in a few ways. Many bullies will respond to one’s hurt feelings with something like “****! Can’t you take a joke?” I’ve been told that people who do this know what they’re doing and by discounting another’s feelings with mockery or joking, it’s flat out verbal abuse and an escape from any guilt they’re having. Then I’ve heard bullies say how badly they’ve been hurt and bullying is their sense of strength and somewhat of their retaliation against their own victimizer. And the last one I’ve heard is when someone consciously or unconsciously recognizes a part of themself that they don’t like, within another individual. They’ll pick on that person out of their own self-hatred. All sad cases, but I don’t think any excuse for bullying should be accepted or tolerated especially in adults. Kids need guidance but adults need to drop the ego.

I wish you well UCLAFan. Take care. ~ Bee

P.S. Sounds like great work on the therapeutic letter to your mom. One of these days I’d like to write a 3pager like you have. Hard work, but great steps.