Medication can sometimes do that, but generally it's also a mass-produced drug. Usually it takes a combination of medications and/or therapies before something starts to work. That's simply because you are unique. You are unique and you are fabulous.

Uniqueness can also feel isolating, which it sounds like you are feeling. Even those with similar diagnoses or stories, no one went through exactly what you did. No one went through exactly what they did. Even abused children of the same family experience the same abuse differently.

But what I'm also reading is that you adapt and change. And that can absolutely be a good thing. You are not like the other people who are so rigid that they cannot handle any degree of uniqueness.

Things will change. If I may suggest, you mentioned you experience the same thing as a child but still had the optimism to see through it. If there is some way to do so, I might suggest somehow volunteering with children. They still have that playfulness and creativity and optimism to not see or understand the complexities of life, and maybe it would inspire your old childish optimism. I don't mean bad childish, but the good sort of fun that most adults wish they could get back.