Quote:
Originally Posted by Trace14
I think I just don't want to feel rejected again, not right now and it's not worth going through all that history. I typed it out for my last T, which she said it was okay to do that before the session and we would talk about it in session, but we never did. Then she said to stop sending them because she didn't have time to read them. So with my issues with verbally communicating, not much was said in the sessions. That's when she decided that I needed a break from counseling and that maybe I wasn't ready for counseling. That cut me to the bone. I practically begged for guidance on what to do between sessions and asked what she wanted to know.....she never gave me a answer.
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!!! WTF?!!! Pardon my honesty. I have heard a lot of horrible things T's do and say, but this one is one of the worst! It's no wonder you don't want to contact a T if this is what you got. Holy Cow!
This is pretty bad and I would say it is not typical of therapy and therapists.
Someone suffering from PTSD , it is better to help them sooner than later.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. That shouldn't have happened to you in professional setting.
I had some things similar to this but nothing this bad while looking for a T, and I had my formal T, and still do until I officially find one now. But I remember telling her about 2 months ago I give up on the mental health profession. I had given up because going through all that history stuff on an intact just worked me up with no relief. After going through 6 of these and then getting my hopes up and than them falling because of various reasons, I gave up.
But like you, I am a strong survivor, and no matter what I keep going. I may get discouraged. But I keep going. So after a couple of weeks of a much needed break of looking, I looked again. Now I am were I am. But I feel less hope than a few months ago.
I know that feeling of not wanting to go through the history. I think writing it out is a great idea. That gives you time during the first visit to get to know the T more before jumping into the hard stuff. Most trauma T's know this, but it is hard to find a trauma therapist.
My writing here might be a little weird, I am going through some PTSD stuff at the moment and my grammar kinda goes bad. But I just hope you will reach out again when you are ready. Finding a T sucks. After your first experiences, I would be scared too and just exhausted from the stress.
But once you do, it will really help. Trust me on that.