If you feel like everyone is a backstabber, and that they aren't honest with you..... that's definitely one way to push away any potentially genuine friendships. Very few people are going to have the patience to withstand those accusations.

True, some people ARE backstabbers and aren't honest. But everyone? No.

If you have such strong feelings and beliefs about the fact that people want you dead.... you really need to talk to a professional. That level of paranoia isn't healthy at all.

Also, something to think about: very, very few people consider killing someone worth the cost of going to jail. Even less would have the money or access to hire a hitman. It would take an incredibly dedicated, wealthy, and well-connected human being to accomplish that.

Thinking that everyone wants that, or should want that, about you is actually incredibly selfish.

If their hatred is that strong, they certainly aren't going to spend any time around you if they don't have to. If you make those sorts of statements to them, it's going to just breed hate in them because no one likes to be accused of something like that.

So.... to help yourself and your chance of having any friendships, I really hope you'll find some help. Your paranoia is pushing people away, which is reinforcing your paranoia. Vicious cycle to be stuck in!