I think I'm going crazy in a ..a.. very twisted way...

I woke up today just like I was yesterday... I mean sort of.. I was no mood, I had no mood, because dead people don't have moods, they're dead, I was dead, no mood, I had no mood at all. I mean I was moodless. Ok ?

So... There I go..

I went to.,. I get this interruptions in my mind, I don't know why, it feels like I'm racing, but I don't have racing thoughts, I mean I feel like I'm flying to the moon but I don't have these racing thoughts.

In fact.. I think I don't have thoughts when my mind is interrupted, does that make sense ? Like I just become empty for a mil.second with nothing on my mind but everything else is flowing. movement. yeah.

It's hard... What I'm trying to say .... So I went to practicum I went my Patient, it was Final Session, we had a talked about his feelings, thoughts, how he think he progressed etc..etc.. and then we went with the practicum's staff to a Restaurant to say goodbye to me and the other fellow student, it was 5 of us. IT was super fun I had hard time saying goodbye because I love them so much, they gave is gifts, we had good time wished goodluck and THEN...

I went to my university and I met a student for 1.5 hour I helped him with his English course, I wasn't happy. I wasn't sad. I was pumped for some reason ~ I did bad with him because I barely let him do any work himself and I almost done everything for him because I couldn't shut up.

Then after we finished I didn't know what to do with myself, I knew I DONT WANT TO GO HOME. because home is boring and I'm all anti-boring at the moment, so ..
I was roaming in my mind searching for the right idea among thousands, and I decided to do something good ~ I went to library to read.
I was there for 4 hours nonstop I couldn't stop reading I was thrilled, I was triggered even more by the content of the book... I couldn't stop. when I stopped I realized it's been hours...

So I packed my stuff went home, drove on the freeway with max volume music, 140km/h, getting impatient that everybody drive so slow and drive so BAD.

Came home, ate, playing guitar, talking, thinking, getting bored, forgot what I was doing. went out with my dog, was jumping running, met a nice person with a dog, had a nice chat... FEEELING ALLIVEEEE !

Then I'm looking for partners to drink wine with, but no one seem to be joining me so I'll just go and drink myself I guess.. but not before I continue my research work.

I"M ON ! Wtf is happening.. I think I'm not Cyclothymic or anything, I think everything is self-created reality and somehow I just manipulate my mind to all of this, and this is all me.

I think this is all in my powers and when I feel depressed this is just me simulating a mood-swing cycle to kinda fit in cyclothymia, right ? you get the idea... I don't think I'm hypo-manic because of a condition, I think I just should be feeling this way all the time, I mean... it has to be this way because it feels great and why would my body do something that is not awesome for me. I ... bit cnfsued but Yeehaw

Woha.