</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Right now, I would just like to go into T's office and curl up on the couch and have him be there. And just sit in silence. That would really give me a lot of support, just sitting there with him.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
I wrote that last week in another thread here. Yesterday I had an individual session and kind of got to experience that. It was lovely.

It was my first individual session in a couple of weeks, with 2 intervening couples session. It was great to be in his room again with just T and me. Some of you might not understand this next bit or might even get kind of mad if it were you, but during our session, T went over to his computer and began composing an e-mail. It was a confidential message to some professionals on my behalf, related to what we had been talking about, and he decided to do it right then and there to get it done and to be able to run ideas by me as he composed it. So he leaves me at one end of his office in the sitting area and goes to his computer, first asking, “you’ve signed a release for me to communicate with these people?” Yes, I say, I’ve signed those forms 3 times (this is a bit of a running joke between us). He laughs and gestures at the piles of papers and books on his desk, “sorry, they’re somewhere in there—ADD.” And I immediately twin us and say, “that makes me feel better, because my desk looks the same way.” He starts composing, and I try lobbing a couple of comments at him as he types, trying to continue our conversation a bit, but he doesn’t respond. I get the message and let him work uninterrupted. Silence. I pick up a book he has been reading and start looking at it. It’s interesting. I settle back in the couch and read while T clacks away in the background on his keyboard. Occasionally, he runs something by me that he’s written and I comment. I like how he asks for my input. But mostly there is quiet. I am so comfortable. Purrrrr. It’s like I am at home in my living room reading a book and he is on the other side of the room doing whatever. It’s like we’ve been used to each other’s presence for years and happily do our own things side by side. Finally, he is done and reads the whole e-mail to me. It’s long. He’s very verbal and thorough. And he’s wordy to a fault, just like me (twin twin). I don’t have much of anything constructive to say. The e-mail is good. I just enjoy hearing his voice reading to me from something he’s written about me on my behalf. I appreciate that he has asked my input on this and is including me “in the loop” so I know what is going on. (I’m just realizing now, as I write this, that this is such a contrast to how my husband operates, it’s not even funny. Especially since earlier in our session T and I have talked about how recently my H blindsided me with information he withheld and thereby put me in a very awkward position. Could it be that T did the e-mail cooperatively with me for just that reason?)

Composing and going over the e-mail must have taken about 15 minutes, but I don’t feel it was time taken away from my therapy. Sitting in such comfortable, productive silence like that was itself therapeutic. I felt close to him, as we sat there not saying anything, as he did this thing for me, on my behalf. I felt really taken care of.