Hi Mick07,

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. It's hard when you're still "hearing" old messages from the past, and it seems like the messages are going around and around in a loop in your head. I've had trouble with that, too, at times.

Like the others have said here, finding a counselor or therapist might be helpful. You can keep writing here, too. And even though it's hard to open up to friends, that may be something that takes some work and some practice. Maybe you can try opening up on easier issues first before you try talking about the harder ones? Try talking about things you enjoy doing - hobbies? Movies you really like? Your favorite restaurants and types of foods? Vacation spots you wish you could visit? Ask your friends about things they enjoy doing and get them to talk. I find that works pretty well, and then conversation flows more easily.

And in terms of getting the endless messages in your head to budge, have you tried using various forms of distraction? Are there things you like to do that can help you distract yourself a bit? Take a walk...do some crossword puzzles....go see a movie....bake some cookies and take some to a friend?....do a craft....play online solitaire...write a letter to a friend....write in your journal....and so forth. Sometimes using distraction can help get our mind going in different directions. Or at least it can help me, and I've read that it is helpful to others too.

Wishing you all the best....take good care of you.

Take care,
ErinBear